Some time in the middle of last year, I had the idea of going for a holiday with a very good female friend of mine (a working mother of two school-going children). I asked and she agreed.

We planned to be away for a few days during the long school break at the end of last year. I just felt that I needed a break from being a full-time mother to my three children, then aged one, five and seven.

I just wanted to find some respite, away from all the household chores, caring and driving routine, not to mention the usual nagging and shouting that I have to do every now and then. Without a helper at home and with our families living about 400km away, I have had to juggle almost everything alone most of the time.

It has not been easy. So, I just thought that I deserved a break and my husband fully supported my idea. The plan was to go somewhere nearby, reachable within a few hours' flight. We also planned to spend less than a week for the entire trip so that it wouldn't cost a bomb.

Since I was the one who was considered to be more free, I had to do the research on the airfare, accommodation and places to travel. As my friend was residing in Singapore (and me in Selangor), there would be more coordination and planning to be done. So, I surfed the Internet every day, always looking out for the best deal to stretch our budget.

At the same time, I was already thinking of how wonderful it would be for both of us not to worry about what time to get up every morning, what breakfast our kids want to have or what leftover food we had to eat at every meal.

Unfortunately, as Murphy's Law would have it, even before my friend and I could decide which place to travel to, my husband told me that he could not take time off to care for the children during that period. It was a very important regional meeting that he could not miss and, of course, neither could it be rescheduled.

Needless to say, I was devastated. As much as I tried to contain my discontentment (as I knew it was no fault of my husband's), I was still very disappointed. I had no choice but to tell my friend that we had to call off the plan. As nature would have it again, she was also very caught up with her work and could hardly take time off too during the time we had planned for the trip.

So, in the end, we just felt that this trip was not meant to be but we were hopeful. We were thinking maybe there was something better in store for us in the near future and we vowed to make our dream holiday happen soon.

As some form of “compensation,” my husband suggested that I spend some time away with him during one of his long business trips abroad at the end of last year. Honestly, I was equally happy. We planned and decided to send our two elder children back to our hometown so that my parents could care for them. However, we had to bring along our youngest baby for the trip (as my ageing parents could not possibly handle a baby with another two older children in tow).

It was not the best option but it was better than me not having a break at all. At least, what I needed to care for during the trip was just a baby. And, so off we went.

Luckily, during the whole trip, our daughter was very well-behaved, even on the flight. Indeed, it had been a good break for me even though I had to push the baby stroller everywhere I went while my husband worked. And, luckily, it was a safe city and the weather had been cool and nice to walk in.

I will definitely plan for a holiday again with my good friend in the near future. I believe that besides spending some “alone” time with our spouse, it is equally important that all parents spend time with our close friends or siblings, those whom we can have some great laughs with and talk our hearts out (without being judged).

It is good to be away from our routine life and daily responsibilities once in a while to recharge ourselves.

After years of always putting our family and work before us, it is only fair that sometimes we have some time for ourselves with some close friends around, too.

CPL