Review by CHOO MIN FONG
(www.parenting-teenage-boys.blogspot.com)

NURTURE THE NATURE
By Michael Gurian
Publisher: Jossey-Bass

As our world gets increasingly competitive, most parents are driven by what Michael Gurian terms as social trends parenting which moulds the child to fit into society’s needs, society’s definition of a successful being.

Today, parents fear they are not doing enough unless they provide as many opportunities and as much exposure for their children to explore and grow. Children are bogged down with mindless activities which they might not connect with nor find meaningful. As a result, both child and parents get overly stressed in this chaotic chase.

Parents who are preoccupied with endless activities scheduled for the child’s development as affirmed by our society, will find this book timely for a revalidation.

Hailed as a revolutionary parenting book, Nurture the Nature urges us to turn away from social trends parenting to instead focus on understanding who our child really is and let our parental instincts guide us.

Backed by scientific research and workshop findings gathered from the Gurian Institute, the book shows that the child’s path for success lies in his/her inborn nature, unique personality and genetic predisposition. Parents just need to tune in to this core nature to fit the needs of the child’s nature.

Part 1 of the book offers tools to help parents understand the child’s core nature, the same way that a child psychologist would do in a scientific way. It is not a step-by-step manual guide. Rather, it provides the concepts and an insight of what to look out for as we attempt to create our child’s profile in terms of genetic personality, emotional state, gender characterisation, strengths and vulnerability. It also introduces a hormonal assessment as a scientifically-effective approach to understand and subsequently manage the behaviour of the child, especially in the pubescent years.

Part 2 centres on the first 10 years of the child, focusing on the areas essential to nurturing the core nature of that age group. Michael Gurian calls the infant years the age of attachment, the toddler years the age of order and play, and the early school years the age of education and relationship.

Part 3 focuses on the turbulent and troubled adolescent years until 19 years old and beyond. Gurian touches on sensitive issues like sex education, self-esteem, peer-group handling and sexual differences in behaviour between boys and girls.

Most parenting books would not cover beyond young adulthood, but Gurian points out that today’s generation of young people mature much later than their parents and would still be in need of parental guidance even in their early 20s, particularly on finding direction, purpose and meaning in adulthood.

While this book aims to inspire parents to look at parenting in a new way, it is not an easy read as in simple 1-2-3 standard steps towards nature-based parenting. As implied, each child is unique and hence this is not a one-method-fits-all book. It stirs one to do self-reflection and assessment to connect with the child in order to come up with a personalised parenting blueprint unique to your own child.

Gurian is truly passionate in his mission to make every parent the confident expert who fully understands his child and who views each of them as a gift in this world. It is precisely in these times of many distractions that parents need to find the courage and wisdom to look within themselves and within their child to chart the path ahead, to let the unique individuality flourish and shine.