Review by S.C. TEO
SMART PARENTING, SMARTER KIDS
By David Walsh, PhD
Publisher: Free Press
Raising smart children, I believe, is every parent's objective. It begins as early as conception. Most mothers, being proactive, would start taking all kinds of nutritious food and vitamins like DHA, that can make babies smart.
Listening to classical music such as Mozart, according to some research papers, may influence our babies to grow up to be talented musicians.
Some parents even resort to early reading in the hope of stimulating and developing their babies’ brains.
The desire to raise a smart child is not wrong. However, as parents, we must know what smart kids mean to us. What makes a smart kid? Is it a genetic inheritance? Or is it more than that?
This is what Smart Parenting, Smarter Kids is all about.
Having more than 20 years of experience counselling parents and children, author Walsh believes that being smart is more than just school smarts or getting high scores in IQ tests. To him, it literally means emotional intelligence.
Having good common sense, the ability to analyse and apply knowledge, a willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions and face the consequences, being able to love and share with others, a willingness to spend time and effort, and being able to focus – all of this makes smarter kids.
In Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence, he says that emotional intelligence plays a more important role than IQ in one’s daily life.
In line with that, Walsh believes that emotional intelligence is soft-wired and can be learned through experiences and training. It's basically brain work, or a brain workout.
In this book, Walsh talks about many interesting scientific facts about how our brains grow and develop, and how we can stimulate our brain neurons to raise our intelligence.
In his opinion, there are no secret ingredients or quick fixes. While talent and luck may play some part in success, putting in effort to learn plays a bigger role in our daily learning.
Do you think Bill Gates’ or the late Steve Jobs' successes were strokes of good luck? Definitely not!
Walsh believes that the amount of effort they had spent in building up their empires, has been the key to their success.
Brain science
Walsh begins his book with an easy-to-digest overview on how our brain neurons function, how our neural connections are developed via learning and how our attention and memory works together to form working memories, both short term and long term.
It's intriguing and fascinating to learn about these brain sciences on what stimulates our brain.
With all this insightful knowledge, I’m able to apply and adapt what Walsh says to my children's learning desires.
However, Walsh emphasises that learning stimulation and desires are closely related to a pleasant learning experience and a conducive environment.
For example, love is a stimulant. It motivates most of us. Therefore, love is crucial in engaging parenting, as love stimulates the brain.
Learning time is also a great stimulant, where the kids have a great time with their parents, whereby parents include a big amount of interaction, giving positive advice and encouragement.
Sleep. Play. Food.
Apart from ample love, Walsh also explains how sleep, play and nutritious food can affect our children’s brain development. They are important, too.
Do you know how many hours of sleep a five-year-old needs daily? What happens to our brains while we sleep? What is R.E.M (Rapid Eye Movement sleep) and why is it important? Sleep-deprived children may have learning problems at a later stage.
Do you know that glucose is our brains’ fuel? What about fat, vitamins and minerals? What kind of diet is good for our children’s brain development, and what is not?
Are you aware that playing can stimulate our children’s sensory integration and social skills? How does it affect them, or influence them?
All these questions are available in Walsh’s book, and he carefully divides all important research and facts into different chapters. They are also accompanied by interesting case studies and useful suggestions on what to do and how to do it.
21st century parents
Raising children has never been more challenging than now.
In our current fast-moving world, where society seems to be more affluent, children are surrounded by technology and digital devices. While gadgets make our life more convenient, they also offer major distractions to us and our children, and can lead to addictions, complacency and teen problems.
Therefore, self-discipline is very important. It’s how our children control their gratifications, drives and emotions.
Can our children delay their gratifications, hold on to their personal urges and set priorities on given tasks?
This is an important issue, and Walsh dedicates two chapters to explain what delayed gratification is, its significance to our children’s emotional intelligence and how we can help our children learn to deal with it.
He shares tips on how to raise children who are born in this iPhone/iPad era (the iGeneration, so to speak), who are not able to part with the Internet and/or portable devices.
Wired differently
Walsh also has a small comprehensive chapter at the end of the book, on how special needs children are wired differently. It gives an insight on how different disorders or problems can affect how our children behave and their learning patterns.
However, the fundamental of brain science is similar, with the exception that we parents have to spend more time and effort in helping them to learn.
Based on my own experience with my son, who has been diagnosed with mild austism, special needs children definitely can learn, and can learn to be better in life, if we heed the advice given.
That’s why early intervention is important for children with special needs. These children can learn if parents are able to tap into their needs when they are young.
There are many more gems in this book, but I leave it to you to discover them.
I must say, I really love this book. I’m fascinated by science and facts, and how Walsh shares them in the book. He makes facts intriguing to read and easy to digest.
It’s a very good reference book for parents. The scientific research and facts make sense and will fit in well with your parenting style. I’ve gained a new perspective and am more convinced in the good that I do for my children to help them to be more emotionally intelligent.
This is one book that I’m definitely keeping.