I find I’m more inclined to say no to my children than to say yes, even when I don’t feel strongly about the permission they are seeking. I wonder why I automatically respond so negatively.

It is easy to fall in the habit of saying no to our kids.

“No, you can’t go outside.”
“No, you can’t have a cookie.”
“No, you can’t use the telephone.”
“No, you can’t spend the night with a friend.”

We could have answered affirmatively to all of these requests, but we chose almost automatically to respond in the negative. Why? Because we didn’t take time to stop and think about the consequences; because the activity could cause us more work or strain; because there could be danger in the request; because our children ask for a thousand favours a day and we find it convenient to refuse them all.

While every child needs to be acquainted with denial of some of his or her more extravagant wishes, there is also a need for parents to consider each request on its own merit. There are so many necessary no’s in life that we should say yes whenever we can.

This article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia (www.family.org.my) and the Questions and Answers are extracted from “Complete Family and Marriage Home Reference Guide” by Dr James Dobson with permission.