At his age, shyness is nothing to worry about. He is retreating to the safety of the familiar because he is threatened by the new. That's a reasonable manoeuvre. It would be a mistake for you to tear him loose from the security of your arms too quickly, although you should begin to move in that direction.

If his shyness and bashfulness continue unchecked through this next year, I would recommend that you utilise the time-honoured approach of preschool to help with the task. It would be wise to introduce him gradually to a good preschool programme, accomplished in four distinct steps:

1. Talk about the exciting things he will soon do in preschool. Try to whet his appetite during the two weeks prior to entry.

2. Take him to visit the teacher at least twice, perhaps on consecutive days, when no other children are involved. Tip off the teacher to the name of his dog or cat and other familiar topics they can discuss.

3. Let him observe the other children in play from the sidelines with you standing nearby. No interaction with other children is required on this day.

4. The fourth step brings “plunge-in” day - even if he yells like crazy when you leave. His peers will do the rest.

Shyness in a 3-year-old is not unusual and does not warrant concern. If it does become necessary to pry him loose in the years that follow, it will better be accomplished by nudging rather than ripping his moorings.

This material is excerpted from Dr James Dobson's book The New Hide or Seek (copyright © 1974, 1979, 1999 by James Dobson), published by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, and is used by permission.