Our 24-month-old son is not yet toilet trained, although my mother-in-law feels that he should be under control now. Should we spank him for using his pants instead of the potty.

No. Suggest that your mother-in-law cool down a bit. It is entirely possible that your child can’t control himself at this age. The last thing you want to do is punish a child of any age for an offence that he can’t comprehend.

If I had to err on this matter, it would be in the direction of being too late rather than too early. Furthermore, the best approach to potty training is with rewards and encouragement rather than punishment. Give him a treat for performing his duty. When you’ve proved that he can comply, then you can hold him responsible in the future.

This article was written by Focus on the Family Malaysia (www.family.org.my) and the Questions and Answers are extracted from “Complete Family and Marriage Home Reference Guide” by Dr James Dobson with permission.