I HAVE a boy and a girl who are in Year Two and Year One. My husband and I are working, so we leave them at a daycare centre which also provides tuition as a package.  

My children always complain they have so much studying to do and hardly any leisure time. Both are in the afternoon session at a Chinese-medium school.  

We send them to the daycare centre at around 8.30am. The teacher will then check their homework. This is followed by breakfast, another hour of tuition, before they bathe, have their lunch and get ready for school. 

After school, they will be back home by about 7.10pm. After dinner, they will rest for half an hour before proceeding with homework until 9.30 or 10pm. 

Then they watch TV or play games until bedtime at 11pm. If they do not watch TV or play games, then I will talk to them or read storybooks to them.  

Now my son always talks back when the daycare teacher asks him to study or do tuition homework. I can see that my son is feeling frustrated and this has influenced his sister.

Both complained and asked why they have to go to daycare and attend tuition whereas their friends did not have to do so. I explained to them that it was because I needed to work and there was no one to look after them at home. 

I have implemented a reward system. If they finish their homework before 9.30pm, behave themselves or get good grades, I will give them a reward card which they can use to pick up a present, which could be a book or toy within a given budget.  

So far, their grades are good, mostly above 90%. – Concerned Mother 

Children in their primary school years have questions. They see the world more clearly than they did when they were in their preschool years. They are eager to know more about themselves and others. They also want to do more. They want to be active participants instead of passively following others. 

Before you start pacifying your children, do consider doing problem-solving with them.  

Rather than doing all the talking, spend some time each day listening. Children in the primary school years love to talk but they do not get much of a chance to do so. The adults in their lives tend to talk too much and listen too little. Young children love to do their own thing but they have no time or opportunity for that. 

Children need parents to help them identify their feelings and teach them how to deal with them. They need to hear: “It can be frustrating when you have to wake up early and leave for daycare. You hardly get any time to relax before you go to school everyday.” 

Your son is not happy with the daycare teacher who manages his schedule before school. You can help him express his feelings by saying: “Aunty (teacher’s name) tells you to do this and that. You don’t like the strict schedule she keeps. It must be quite a challenge to keep up with the schedule everyday.” 

Let your children solve their problems by doing some brainstorming with you every evening. Make a list of things they like and do not like. This can be useful as your children can look at them and talk about them. 

Talk about the problems your children face when they are at the daycare and when they are at school. Write them down so that your children can keep track of the development. Discuss possible solutions and let your children try them out to see if they work. You can also share your ideas when they talk about their solutions. 

School-age children like to take charge. They feel respected when they are listened to and their feelings are acknowledged. They know that they can make mistakes and need to learn to do better. Adults who are sincere and acknowledge their capabilities can make a difference in helping them meet the challenges.

Let your children plan their weekends with you. They may have to follow a strict schedule during the week but the weekends are for them to do their own thing. Give them your support to carry out their activities. Be sure to enjoy yourselves!

* There will be a 5- Sundays Montessori Pre-primary workshop organised by the Malaysian Child Resource Institute. It begins Sept 5, 2010. For more information, email ruthliew07@gmail.com.